so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
