I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
