I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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