FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Randomize
