so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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