I feel great
I just peed on a car
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Mom said you looked used
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
