why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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