I want to walk on stilts...naked
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize