he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
