would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
