is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
