so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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