he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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