I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
