Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
