I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
