But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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