I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
