Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ladies don't puke and tell
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
