How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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