yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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