And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There are leaves in my underwear?
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