meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
