508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
