Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
