i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
