Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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