The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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