I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
how drunk are you?
Several
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
