Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
