my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
