i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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