You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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