But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
