fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
