I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
