I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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