Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
only if we run a train.
done.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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