plz talk dirty to me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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