is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
