My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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