I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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