i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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