I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
