Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
