I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I need a beard to bite.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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