First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
