No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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