I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
