My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize