yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
