3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
