Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
so much tequila, so little girl.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.