i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
well, you know. whores of a feather.