its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
