Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule