I wannas sexs uuuuu
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
this will be a night to untag.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
