oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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