He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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