I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
