And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
