He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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