..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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