We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
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BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize