Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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